Surplus of Sweets

In direct contrast to the last post, sometimes I have too much stuff:

 My trunk full of soda.  I bought at least 5 flats of pop from Sam's Club.  I had some 12 packs too, but they aren't in the picture.

Two 5gallon containers of ice cream.  I couldn't close the freezer all the way with all these frozen goods.

 Five pints of ice cream, plus a lot of pot pies.

In my defense, only the pot pies and pints were mine or my roommate's.  The rest of the stuff was for various club functions.  If it hadn't been, I'm sure I would have a raging case of Type 2 diabetes right now.

Misleading Meal

One day I got this frozen dinner for a nighttime snack:

 Look at all those delicious pieces of bacon and all the delicious green peas.

I open the box and heat it up only to find out the pasta is really like this:

Yeah, I separated out all the components, but I didn't eat any of the bacon bits or peas.  That's how many peas and bacon bits I got total.  I think the peas numbered in the single digits to low teens.

If I sprinkled all the peas and bacon on top of my half eaten pasta, the concentration of toppings would look like the box picture.

Poo Pudding (or Dates Part II)

If I thought the braised chicken with dates looked sketchy while it was cooking, then this date pudding looked like a toothless crackwhore standing in the doorway of an opium den with a heroin needle sticking out of her arm, beckoning passersby to taste her earthly delights.

All the ingredients were normal: dates, brown sugar, butter, but somehow, through alchemy or magic or a natural defense mechanism that dates have, the batter for the pudding looked nasty.  I mean NASTY, with a capital "N" and a side of ocular herpes.  Whereas the chicken with dates looked kind of bland and watery while they were cooking, the cooked dates looked like poop.  A thick, sticky mess of feces.  Poo Pudding, Crap Cake - we were all skeptical of eating the pudding, but it was very moist and flavorful and more cake-like than pudding-from-a-pudding-cup-like.  It has very a wintery, Christmas-time taste, which is appropriate because it was in the December issue of Everyday Food.  I've been a little behind on food blogging, but that's no reason to not make this pudding as a dated (ahaha!) ending to the braised chicken with dates dish.

 WTF.  How could anything edible look like this?

Looking better now.  All the other ingredients mellowed out the poo vibe.

Toffee Pudding

(from Everyday Food magazine or Martha Stewart's website)

Serves 8 (or 16 if you eat sweets sparsely like me)

• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for baking dish
• 2 cups chopped (about 8 ounces) pitted dates
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
• 3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• Toffee Sauce (recipe follows)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter an 8x8 inch baking dish.  In a small saucepan, heat 1 cup of water with the dates.  Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and add the baking soda.  Stir the hot mess until it thickens, 1 to 2 minutes.
Whisk together the flour, baking powder, allspice, and salt in a medium bowl.  In a separate, large bowl, use an electric mixer on medium to cream the eggs and sugar until fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes.  Add eggs and vanilla and keep beating until combined.
With mixer on low, add the flour mixture to the egg-butter one, then add the date mixture.  Keep alternating the flour and date mixture additions three times, starting and ending with flour.  Up the mixer speed to medium and beat some more to combine.
Pour the batter into the pan and bake for about 45 minutes, or until a wooden skewer/toothpick/cake tester poked into the center comes out clean.  While the pudding is baking, make the Toffee Sauce.
Once the pudding is done, put the pan on a wire rack (or not) and poke holes all over with a wooden skewer/toothpick/cake tester.  In the picture below, you can tell I poked holes in a semi-grid pattern, but you can be random.  Just don't poke so many holes that the pudding is all torn up.  Pour half of the toffee sauce all over the top and let sit for 10 minutes.
Serve the cake warm with extra Toffee Sauce.

Toffee Sauce (aka, the most delicious sauce ever.  You might want to make extra sauce so you can really pour it on the finished pudding)

• 1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• Pinch of coarse salt
• 2 teaspoons whiskey (I used Jack Daniel's once, and Canadian Mist the other time.  I think I preferred the Jack Daniel's, but that may be 6 months of time and memory lapses talking)

In a small saucepan, combine the sugar, butter, cream, and salt.  Heat over medium-high and cook until sugar dissolves and mixture boils, stirring constantly.  Reduce to a simmer and cook, without stirring, for 2 minutes.  Remove from heat and stir in the whiskey.

The now good-looking date pudding with a glaze of toffee sauce.

The moral of the story is:  Things that look like feces may actually be delicious.  And maybe we should give that toothless crackwhore a chance.

Date (the fruit, not the romantic encounter) Dinner

Those samplers at Sam's Club know what they're doing. I once had a "Fancy Medjool Date" handed to me on a toothpick by an elderly lady wearing a hairnet, and I was delighted. The date was gooey and honey/raisin-y. My mom hated it, but I wanted to eat more.

Maybe it was serendipity, maybe it was good seasonal planning on MSLO's part, but a few weeks later I got an issue of Everyday Food magazine in which the "Have You Tried...?" section highlighted....Wheat Germ!

I jest. It was dates, everyone's least known drupe fruit!

The next time I was at Sam's Club, I bought dates so I could make two of the dishes from the magazine - a delicious chicken dish and a festive date pudding.

The braised chicken with dates was surprisingly delicious. I was weary of the yellowish, watery mass that was the braising chicken, but it was pretty tasty, especially with couscous.

 There are a lot of onions, so this dish has to be good.  There are few things more mouthwatering than the smell of sauteing onions when I'm hungry.

Dates in the background, minced ginger in the foreground.
 

Mmm.  These assorted chicken parts have been browned for flavor, but are still raw and teeming with Salmonella and E. Coli and all sorts of other bacteria inside.

Cooking the sauce with dates, cilantro, and spices.

Braised Chicken with Dates
(from Everyday Food magazine, or Martha Stewart's website)
Serves 4

• 1 whole chicken (3.5-4 lbs, quartered) OR 4 split breasts OR 4 leg quarters    (I didn't have a quartered chicken, so I used 3 leg quarters and 2 thighs.  All in all, I preferred the thighs.  They were much easier to eat.)
• Salt
• Ground pepper
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 yellow onions, chopped finely
• 1 teaspoon sweet paprika (or regular paprika.  It works just as well.)
• 2 tablespoons fresh ginger, peeled and minced
• 3/4 teaspoon ground coriander (I omitted this and it was fine.)
• 2.5 cups water
• 1 cup chopped pitted dates (about 4 ounces)
• 1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves, chopped
• 2 lemons, halved, for serving (or not.  I didn't want to buy a lemon, so I left this out.)

Salt and pepper the chicken pieces.  Heat the olive oil in a large pot or Dutch oven (if you are so fortunate as to have one) over medium-high heat.  Cook the chicken, skin side down, until it is brown and crisp, about 6 minutes.  Flip the chicken and cook for about 6 minutes more.  Transfer the chicken to a plate.
Add onions to the pot, stirring occasionally, until the onions are soft, about 5 minutes.  Add the ginger, paprika, and coriander.  Cook for 2 minutes, stirring. 
Place chicken evenly over the onions and spices.  Add the water and bring to a boil.  Reduce to a simmer, cover, and cook until chicken is done, about 40-45 minutes.
Move the chicken to a serving dish.  Increase the heat to high and boil the cooking liquid until it is reduced by half, 12 to 15 minutes. 
Stir in dates and cilantro.  Season with salt and pepper. 
Pour sauce over chicken and serve with lemon halves and couscous. 

Chicken with sauce and couscous.  A hearty Middle Eastern-esque dinner.

Pork Potpourri

I went to a casino a couple of months ago (last year, in 2009!) and I had THE MOST DELICIOUS pork chops in my entire life.

They were labeled as an unassuming "Pork Chops with Fruit Chutney", but after I took my first bite, I was in a gluttonous heaven. The pork was coated with bread crumbs and herbs, and the fruit chutney was a very wintry mix of cranberries and apples laced with cinnamon. The pork was juicy; the fruit chutney was flavorful. I kept cramming pork and fruit into my mouth to bask in the deliciousness. If no one else were at the restaurant, and the floor were cleaner, I would have rolled around, twitching in frenzied delight.

I got three servings. It was that good.

This recipe isn't exactly the same thing, but it helps stave off cravings until I get back to the buffet. It's from a recipe I found on Recipezaar while I frantically searched the Internet for the original. It does have the benefit of smelling really good while it's cooking, hence the "potpourri" title. Also, I needed a "p" word to keep up with the alliteration.

Pork, onions, and apples, marinating in their own juices. Is that kosher?

Browning some onions. They smell delicious, especially if you're starving.

Maillard-reactioning the pork.

Pork buried under a monochromatic layer of onions and apples. It's like a pretentious painting title.

Cranberries, courtesy of the school's cafeteria.

I think rice is a delicious accompaniment to pork and fruits. But I think rice is delicious with almost anything.

Pork Chops with Apples and Cranberries
(from Recipezaar)
Serves 4

• 1 large onion, halved, sliced
  
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
  
• 4-6 boneless pork chops, about 3/4-inch thickness
  
• Salt
• Pepper
• 1/4 cup flour
  
• 2 cups coarsely chopped apples (about 2 small apples or 1 medium apple. I've used Fuji and Granny Smiths/generic red apples from the school cafeteria. Both were delicious.)
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  
• 1/2 cup apple cider or apple juice (I have apple juice on hand so that's what I always use.)
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
  
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  
• 1 dash ground allspice
  
• 1/3 cup dried cranberries (Craisins!)
  

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Melt the butter and saute the onions until they are lightly browned.
While the onions are cooking, salt and pepper the pork chops, and then dredge them in flour.
Once the onions are done, move them to a plate. Add the vegetable oil to the skillet and cook the pork chops, about 2 minutes on each side. Each side should be golden brown. If there's not enough space in the skillet for all of them at once, cook the pork in batches.
While the pork is cooking mix the apples, lemon juice, apple cider, brown sugar, cinnamon, and allspice in a bowl or something.
Once all the pork is cooked, add the onions on top. Be sure to wedge all the pork chops back if they were cooked in batches. Add the apple 'n' apple juice mixture to the skillet.
Bring the juices to a simmer, reduce the heat to medium-low, and cook uncovered for 5 minutes.
Cover the skillet and cook for 20 minutes. (I like to read food blogs and drool while I wait. The dish smells really fragrant and delicious.)
Uncover the skillet and add the cranberries. Stir and cook for 2 more minutes.
Alternatively, cook covered for 19 minutes, then add the cranberries and cook for 3 more minutes. I like my cranberries to be fully hydrated and soft.
Add salt to taste. I think a good sprinkling of salt enhances this dish, but I like salt.

So luscious....

Garlic Glorification

Who doesn't love garlic? People always complain about garlic and garlic breath, but everyone I know really likes garlic in his/her food.

To celebrate all things garlic, we made cheesy garlic bread, cream of garlic soup, and some green beans almondine with garlic salt for supper.

The garlic bread is from the Pioneer Woman Cooks blog. It is EXTREMELY filling. I couldn't finish my piece (and I eat a lot). This could have been because we added extra cheese, and our pieces were halves of the loaves.

Look at all of that cheese. @_@

I could, however, finish all of the garlic soup. It was pretty good for just garlic, bread, and onions with broth and cream. The hardest part was watching the bread and garlic to make sure it didn't burn. I failed that part....but the good news is, if everything isn't super burned, you can cut off the burned parts and resume cooking. That's what we did, and we didn't think it was that bad.

One thing I would have changed was the size of big pieces of garlic in the finished soup.  The next time I make this soup, I would either use a blender to puree the cooked garlic cloves or roughly chop them and add them back to the soup.  I love garlic, but even I find biting into a whole clove of garlic disconcerting.  I would have preferred smaller bits in my soup.

This is a good soup for a winter night.

Cooking some breads in a pot.

Bread + stock. It's getting more soup-like.

Wow! It looks like a Campbell's product?

Cream of Garlic Soup
(from Eat Me: The Food and Philosophy of Kenny Shopsin by Kenny Shopsin and Carolynn Carreño)
Serves 4

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 12 whole peeled garlic cloves
• 6 to 8 inches of baguette, cut into cubes
• 2 thick slices onion, chopped
  
• 3 cups chicken stock
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 2 teaspoons grated Parmesan cheese
• Ground nutmeg (optional)
• Salt and pepper (optional)

Heat butter in a saute pan (or pot) over high heat. When the butter is hot, but before it browns, add the garlic and bread cubes. Brown them on all sides, but watch to make sure they don't burn. (This happened to me. I didn't watch the pot closely enough and burned some of the garlic. I ended up cutting off all the burnt segments so the soup wouldn't be bitter.  While you have the garlic out to cut off the burnt sides, you could chop or puree them.)
Add the chopped onion and saute until soft and translucent but not brown, about 4 to 5 minutes.
Add stock and whisk. Keep whisking until the bread is sort of disintegrated into the broth. The crusts didn't really disintegrate for me, so I eventually gave up.
Add the cream and Parmesan cheese.
Stir some more until cream is heated. Add salt and pepper if desired. Also, add the nutmeg now if you don't top the bowls with it.
Ladle out the soup into bowls (or plates?). Season to taste with salt, pepper, and nutmeg if you haven't done so already.

It's my soup in a bowl! (OooOOhhh.)
Soup in a bowl? Dick in a box? Get it? No?

One of my roommates made the green beans almandine from what I can only assume is a secret family recipe. It was a nice green counterpoint to the cheesy bread and creamy soup.

Happy (Belated) Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and there's no better way to spend it than by eating 5 pounds of cookie cake.

Huge Halloween cookie cake with festive Halloween decorations!

Look at that thick layer of buttercream sandwiched between two huge cookies!

It took us about 2 weeks to eat half of it.